Being parents is often a rather complex task, as we know well; however, acquiring a solid and consistent parenting style allows a parent to help their children grow and achieve the success they seek.
In essence, the 4 fundamental elements that the most effective parenting style should be able to evoke are these:
- Foster the child’s growth, their openness to experiences that help them grow.
- Promote fundamental principles to enable them to achieve their goals.
- Cultivate a stimulating family environment.
- Facilitate learning.
We will now discuss these calmly, so you can appreciate the importance of not leaving your children’s education to chance.
1. What is a parenting style
In simple terms, the concept of parenting style essentially refers to how parents tend to respond to their children’s needs; this tendency is expressed in different forms from one person to another. In fact, we can say that there are different types of parenting styles, each of which has advantages and disadvantages for children’s growth and development.
One of the most common parenting styles is the authoritarian style, perhaps the oldest; it’s the style where parents use strong authority and offer little room for choice to their children. Such an approach might seem quite effective as it focuses on simply enforcing rules. However, the problem is that it tends to lead to children having low self-esteem and limited autonomy.
Another common parenting style is the permissive style, where parents grant their children complete freedom without requiring them to respect social norms or daily life rhythms. Such a style might give the impression of strongly encouraging autonomy and creativity in children, but actually, it can lead the child to a strong sense of omnipotence and a poor ability to manage emotions.
Finally, we have the democratic style, through which parents encourage their children’s autonomy but also seek to teach them to respect rules and rhythms, as well as to encourage their active participation in decision-making processes, education, and problem-solving. It promotes strong self-esteem in the child and a significant problem-solving ability.
In general, we can say that there is no perfect parenting style; however, an adequate exercise of parental responsibilities requires parents to become aware of their own parenting style. If your goal is to enable your child to fully realize themselves in life, a style characterized by a democratic approach can offer you greater opportunities for success.
2. How to encourage the growth and development of your children
One of the most fundamental aspects of trying to encourage the growth and development of your children undoubtedly involves providing them with a safe and stimulating environment in which they can thrive. Such a context essentially comprises at least the following elements:
- Offering the child affection and unconditional support: the more the child perceives being loved and valued, the freer they feel to navigate their life context. From there, they can explore the world around them with a greater sense of security, becoming soon autonomous and independent.
- Encouraging the child’s exploration and learning: parents adopting a democratic parenting style are capable of constantly encouraging their children to explore the world around them and to learn new things. This can be done from a very young age through activities like reading, promoting educational games, outdoor walks and nature exploration, sports, music, theater, and artistic endeavors.
- Instilling a sense of responsibility: assuming responsibilities is not always easy; some do so naturally, while others struggle even as adults. Let’s delve into this topic more extensively now.
3. How to teach your children the principles of responsibility, self-discipline, and resilience
The sense of responsibility is connected to discipline, which is primarily self-discipline; it represents a person’s ability to assume and maintain a specific behavior. This ability should not be absolutized as the authoritarian parenting style would suggest; rather, it should be interpreted in a democratic sense. This way, it enables the child to become resilient enough to withstand life’s challenges and effectively pursue their life goals. Now let’s see how to develop these skills and help children become happy and balanced adults:
- Teaching responsibility: parents can instill a sense of responsibility in their children by assigning tasks and responsibilities that are appropriate for their age and abilities. In this aspect, it’s very useful to follow the three phases of education throughout the child’s development.
Moreover, it’s important to remember that examples play the most effective educational role; therefore, parents convey a sense of responsibility through their behaviors, showing their children how they take responsibility for their actions. - Teaching self-discipline: a useful and simple way to work on this aspect is to help the child understand the sense of rules that are respected both within the family and outside, demonstrating that those same rules can be agreed upon.
It’s evident that rules are not always immutable; as the child grows, rules and rhythms of life must adapt. Through dialogue and the habit of negotiation, the child assimilates the norms of the context they live in more easily, creating far fewer instances of friction between parents and children. The most important element to convey is the encouragement to think about the consequences of their actions. - Teaching resilience: resilience is the ability to withstand the impacts of life’s most complex situations; a democratic or authoritative parent promotes resilience by helping their children face challenges and obstacles while managing emotions. Additionally, they foster the child’s ability to think positively, assessing not only difficulties but also the opportunities inherent in the most problematic situations.
In my book Fearless Parenting Method, I address these aspects in a very specific manner to provide parents with all the necessary elements to adopt an effective parenting style.
4. How to create a peaceful home environment and encourage open comunication
Creating a serene and open home environment is a fundamental element for the growth and development of children, as well as for the health and well-being of the family. It might sound trivial, but we are always so caught up in other aspects of our lives, such as work, that we often overlook the importance of improving an essential aspect like the family atmosphere. Now I want to provide you with some elements to reflect upon:
- Creating a serene home environment: parents can create a serene home environment by defining clear rules for all family members and minimizing factors that lead to unnecessary stress. The more stable the family routine, the more reassuring the context becomes, encouraging everyone to give their best.
- Encouraging open and honest communication: the relationship between parents and children should be based on dialogue as much as possible. I’ve discussed this many times, but I want to emphasize: dialogue is also, and primarily, about listening. Parents should strive to listen attentively and respectfully to the needs and requests of their children, because the more explicit the needs (as well as problems) are, the easier it is to provide useful answers for the child’s development.
- Creating opportunities for family to spend time together: as all readers of my FPM manual know well, research explains that this is one of the most precious areas for achieving personal fulfillment, for both the child and the parents. I encourage you to take good care of this aspect, as it really requires very little effort.
- Educating your children to manage emotions: there are techniques and strategies of all kinds, but the most important thing for a parent is to daily transmit through their own example how to identify and manage their own emotions.
- Promoting a culture of respect and listening: a parent accustomed to constantly belittling the ideas, opinions, lifestyles, and tastes of those who think differently will have greater difficulty understanding the unique traits of their own children.
Fostering a culture of respect in the family shields children from the need to “destroy” the family model they grew up in by making drastically opposite choices or fully assimilating into that model by sacrificing their own personality. Furthermore, this culture prevents the parent from only truly knowing their children when they are already adults.
I hope that at this point you have a clearer idea about the type of parenting style you intend to adopt toward your children and the kind of parenthood you aim to pursue. If you’re also interested in understanding how to educate your child, in my brief guide you’ll find simple guidelines to follow in your everyday life.
